(the movie opens with the first five seconds of the 'Never Gonna Give You Up' music video before immediately with the Paramount Pictures, Temmie Central Movies, Polar Inc., DC and Nickelodeon Movies logos all commentated by Bill Cipher)
Bill: (commentating) Oh look, stars! I like stars because they are really bright like MY EYE! (laughs) Oh look, a mountain! The way the stars surround it look worthy enough for an inappropriate joke but this is a kids movie. Yes, I can see all the adults in the theatre or at home. I hope you're not watching an illegal copy of this! Wait, what? TEMMIE Central Movies? I thought they only made shows. What now? Polar Inc.? But I thought Polar Inc. owned Temmie Central so why two different logos? Wait, ANOTHER logo? We're probably gonna need somebody to commentate over them so the audience doesn't get bored, which they will. I know this because all modern DC films are terrible but they are all distributed by Warner Bros. which this one isn't. Then again, it isn't really a DC film because they are only credited because they helped make the movie. Speaking of which, why isn't Nickelodeon credited? Ah, there it is. Is there a film that has this many studios working for it? I dunno but in case any critics are watching, tell the magazines that this is a good movie, OK? Wait, shush shush shush! I think the film's starting... (the logos fade to black as the camera zooms across the ocean accompanied by music and various sentences)
Paramount Pictures Presents...
A Temmie Central Movie...
And therefore a Polar Inc. one because Polar Inc. owns Temmie Central...
And a DC movie because of Batman... (Batman can briefly be heard off-screen stating that he's Batman)
And a Nickelodeon one because Nick owns SpongeBob which is what this movie is about...
Who even is Nick anyway? I mean the person, was there a guy called Nick who founded the company? (the camera finally stops at a pirate ship)
Cosmobo: (on his phone) I did some research and Nickelodeon is actually named after-
SBCA: Shut up, Cosmobo!
Cosmobo: I'm just getting the facts right! And while we're at it we might aswell also credit Viacom for owni- (drops his phone into the ocean) Now look what you made me do, SBCA!
SBCA: Nobody made you do it, Cos'.
Cosmobo: Is that short for my name or cousin?
SpongeBot: It's short for (censored), do you think it really matters?
SBCA: Wait, so SpongeBot's literally a robot?
Cosmobo: And I should be a pretty little fairy, or a dog depending on how you look at it.
SpongeBot: Wow, I really can't believe how fast you calmed down!
SBCA: Can we stop with the arguing? We just need to finish our part of the movie and then we can do whatever we like.
SpongeBot: (pause) You do realise we all have really ridiculous names?
Travis: (coming out of the restroom) Ugh, you three are worse then pre-schoolers! People like you make my life a fu- (Cosmobo pushes him into the ocean)
Cosmobo: Sorry, Travis!
Travis: You damn fools! (drowns)
SpongeBot: You do realise we killed a character a few minutes into a kids movie?
SBCA: Cosmobo killed him and I'm actually very sure he will return with a (looks at script) comforting 'HE'S ALIVE! OH IT'S A MIRACLE!' moment. (throws script into the ocean)
SpongeBot: At least the apparently 'alive' Travis will have something to read.
Cosmobo: I thought robots were meant to be smart. (the ship stops at an island and they all get off the boat to opening of 'Don't Stop Me Now')
SBCA: According to the- (grabs the map off SpongeBot) map, the treasure should be- (they stare at some eggs next to a treasure chest) Well, 'eggs' mark the spot! (the 'eggs' turn out to be Exeggutor from Pokémon and he shoots up into the sky in his Alolan form to more of the song)
I'm a shooting star leaping through the sky
Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity
I'm a racing car passing by like Lady Godiva
I'm gonna go go go
There's no stopping me
I'm burnin' through the sky yeah
Two hundred degrees
That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit
I'm trav'ling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic man out of you
(the song ends and the 'pirates' stare in shock)
Cosmobo: I thought the treasure was supposed to be buried... (SpongeBot opens the chest and they find three crystals and they stare in awe at them)
SpongeBot: Woah, so shiny.
SBCA: I just wanna- (he touches the white one and a white light goes into the ocean before the crystal disappears) Woah. Don't touch the other two in case- (Cosmobo touches the black one and a black light goes into the ocean before that crystal disappears too)
SpongeBot: Cliché. (the camera follows the black one into the ocean but it eventually follows its own route and ends up at the front door of SpongeBob's house as we see the opening sequence set to Smash Mouth's All Star)
Some- (SpongeBob steps out his door) body once told me the world is gonna roll me
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed (SpongeBob knocks on Squidward's door and he reluctantly joins him to walk to work)
She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb (they knock for Patrick who joins them too)
In the shape of an "L" on her forehead (they begin walking)
Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun (Sandy joins them)
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do so much to see
So what's wrong with taking the back streets
You'll never know if you don't go (Temmie and Kenny join them)
You'll never shine if you don't glow
With Alex Hirsch, Will Arnett and Kevin Hart (the gang enters the Krusty Krab and Squidward takes his place cashier, SpongeBob enters the kitchen and the rest of them make their orders and then sit down at their tables)
Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play
Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid (SpongeBob dishes out Krabby Patties by flying them over to the tables using his spatula)
And all that glitters is gold (SpongeBob sends the drinks and extra stuff over using the same method)
Only shooting stars break the mould (SpongeBob personally delivers a milkshake to Big Smoke, who looks disappointed, and the rest of the customers throw money at Mr. Krabs who enters his office just in time as the song cuts straight to the instrumental and SpongeBob enters the kitchen)
SpongeBob: Ah, it's such a lovely day today!
Squidward: (sarcastically) That's an understatement.
SpongeBob: It sure is! It's so FANTASTIC, I could sing!
Squidward: Please don't.
SpongeBob: (singing) There's a bunch of clams high in the sky-
Squidward: (interuppting) And opening sequence ends in five, four, three, two, one. There. (song ends)
SpongeBob: But we skipped the second verse, chrorus, bridge and last chorus! That's two choruss! Wait, choruss, chorus, chorus is? No, maybe chorus can be plural anyway... Oh, I don't know! Today is terrible!
Squidward: You're right but for all the wrong reasons, nobody cares about a stupid word! (the customers gasp and Squidward looks upon them) You know, it's rude to butt into other people's conversations!
Patrick: (smirks) He said butt!
Squidward: All right! That's enough! (throws hat on the floor) I have had to put up with you for seventeen years more than I've had to! I quit! (Mr. Krabs rushes out of his office)
Mr. Krabs: (gasp) You can't quit! They'll be nobody to run the cash register!
Squidward: Well, I guess that's a bonus.
Mr. Krabs: But, Mr. Squidward!
Squidward: Please, just call me Squidward!
Mr. Krabs: But, Squidward!
Squidward: (starts walking out and then slowly turns around) Do I know you? (he leaves)
Mr. Krabs: No! (starts crying)
SpongeBob: Nobody cares about a stupid little word... (he comforts Mr. Krabs)
Patrick: We just watched him quit his job.
Temmie: he will regret that... (we see Squidward strut down the street to the first line of The Bee Gees' Stayin' Alive before quickly cutting straight back)
Sandy: Well, I guess it was time the ol' squid quit. (she walks over to Mr. Krabs) I'll be your new cashier.
Mr. Krabs: You? MY new cashier? But you're the toughest person in town!
Mr. Krabs: Larry...
Sandy: Larry's the toughest person in town.
Mr. Krabs: Yes?
SpongeBob: But I thought you got paid for your inventions!
Sandy: That was back when I first moved here. I eventually decided to quit my job, making inventions, and sell them on eBay if I ever needed extra pay.
Mr. Krabs: Can you handle a cash register?
Sandy: (laughs) How hard can it be?
The Once-ler: (from the background) How BAD can it be? (we cut to SpongeBob finally returning from home to see Patrick waiting on his doorstep)
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick! I thought you were back at the Krusty Krab.
Patrick: I was, but that was only last scene. It's been a few hours at the least since then.
SpongeBob: That's the magic of the movies. What are you doing here anyway?
Patrick: I wanted to invite you to come jellyfishing tonight! (pulls out a jellyfishing net from behind his back)
SpongeBob: How did you- (pause) Sure, I'll come.I just need to hang up my work hat. (goes inside)
Patrick: Some uniform, a hat. (after a few seconds, Patrick starts singing) Patrick Patrick wants a ear, not until Harambe's here. (a few more seconds pass and Patrick decides to ly down) Hmm. (a few more seconds pass until SpongeBob finally returns with his jellyfishing net which causes Patrick to get up)
SpongeBob: Did I take long? I didn't take long, did I?
Patrick: Oh, you didn't take long at all.
SpongeBob: I took long didn't I? I took very long!
Patrick: Calm down, SpongeBob! It's not like-
SpongeBob: I've committed a nasty sin!
Patrick: Well, I, uh, bet jellyfishing will cheer you up! (we cut to them jellyfishing in Jellyfish Fields laughing, after a minute or so they look up at a mountain) Hey, SpongeBob! You see that mountain?
Patrick: Let's climb it.
SpongeBob: ARE YOU NUTS? WE COULD GET HURT!
Foreign Ranger: Hey, hey, this is fields!
Patrick: OK...(pause) Let's climb it!
SpongeBob: ARE YOU NUTS? WE COULD GET HURT!
Foreign Ranger: Hey, hey, this is fields!
Patrick: OK...(pause) Let's climb it!
SpongeBob: ARE YOU NUTS? WE COULD GET HURT!
Foreign Ranger: Hey, hey, this is fields!
Patrick: OK...(pause) Let's climb it!
SpongeBob: (drops net) Ugh, this is ridiculous! Why'd you wanna climb it anyway?
Patrick: I just wanna climb it!
SpongeBob: You just wanna climb it?
Patrick: I just wanna climb it.
SpongeBob: Without any professional gear?
Patrick: Without any professional gear.
SpongeBob: ARE YOU NUTS? WE COULD GET HURT!
Foreign Ranger: Hey, hey, this is fields!
SpongeBob: WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP? (the ranger stares blankly and sadly walks away)
Patrick: He only told you to be quiet, not go away!
SpongeBob: (pause) What do you wanna do again?
Patrick: Climb that mountain, just us, no professional gear.
SpongeBob: Yeah, I get that you're the dumb one but why would someone just want to climb a mountain?
Patrick: People these days age too quickly and don't get to do what they want to do so if we don't climb the mountain now-
SpongeBob: Patrick, we haven't aged for seventeen years! (we cut to them climbing the mountain) I DID NOT AGREE TO DO THIS! Say, where'd your net go anyway? (we cut to the bottom of the mountain)
Robbie Rotten: (looking at Patrick's net) Now look at this net, that I've just found. (we cut back to the mountain)
Patrick: I don't really think it matters.
SpongeBob: I guess so. It could potentially be a great one-liner! Wait, shush! I can hear someone! (at the top of the mountain two people are talking)
???: No, I don't know where we are but where ever it is he must be here too!
????: But why are we looking for our brother?
???: We need revenge! He left us behind!
????: We left Blue-y behind!
???: And HE left US behind!
????: (pause) Say, how'd we learn English so fast?
Patrick: (they are now at the top of the mountain) How'd we climb this mountain so fast?
???: (they turn around) Who goes there?
SpongeBob: My name's SpongeBob and this is my friend Patrick.
???: Intruders! Wait, if you help us, I guess we could let you go. We don't really intend on hurting anyone we shouldn't.
SpongeBob: Sure, we'll help you! Just as long as you're not evil! (he and ??? laugh)
???: Hang on, we have the same laugh! I think he's the one!
????: Surely not! That'd be too coincidental and convenient.
SpongeBob: I am the one? (he stares in awe as a familiar song plays)
I am the one, don't weigh a ton
Don't need a gun to get respect up on the street
Under the sun, the bastard son
Will pop the Glock to feed himself and family
By any means, your enemies my enemies
We wet them up like a canteen
The yellow tape surrounds the fate
Don't have a face so now you late, open the gates...
???: Just look at him! Same shape, same clothes as us! Just different colours! White, black, blue and... yellow!
SpongeBob: You can be DarkBob and that one can be LightBob!
DarkBob: (sarcastically) Ah, feels so good to finally have a name!
LightBob: Is this when the whole 'revenge' thing begins?
DarkBob: I think so... (he shines a light a Patrick which blows a whole through his belly)
Patrick: (screams) The pain goes right through me!
SpongeBob: Nobody ever hurts Patrick without hurting (he has to dodge many of the same black beams before DarkBob gives up) me.
DarkBob: (pants) All this evil-doing is really tiring me out! We need a power of over 9000! 'LightBob', as 'YellowBob' calls you-
DarkBob: As 'SpongeBob' calls you, why don't you give him what YOU'VE got?
LightBob: No, I mustn't!
DarkBob: Why not?
LightBob: He didn't do anything to us?
DarkBob: He abandoned us!
LightBob: He didn't mean too! It was the pirates who freed him from the island!
SpongeBob: I came from an island? (points to Bikini Atoll) THAT island? But I have a mother and a father and a brother and cousins and relatives and Patrick!
Patrick: I'm still in a decent amount of pain!
DarkBob: Well, they're frauds then! You came from THAT island and you left us and now my friend is going to finish you off!
LightBob: Well, you see...
DarkBob: DO IT OR I'LL DO IT TO YOU! As soon as I get my breath back!
LightBob: OK, OK! We've given you plenty of time to run, here goes. I'm so sorry! (he tries to shoot a white beam at SpongeBob but accidentally hits Patrick but instead of making the hole bigger, he heals it)
LightBob: Run guys, run! (the three leg it down the hill and manage to escape a breathless DarkBob)
DarkBob: I'll get you! Even if I have to get your whole town first. Oh, I'm genius! (we cut to the trio still running at the bottom of the hill pass Robbie Rotten)
Patrick: I thought genius live in lamps!
Patrick: DarkBob said that- Hey, you ruined my one-liner!
LightBob: We have no time for this! We must hide somewhere he'll never find us!
SpongeBob: Great idea! We can camp out at mine for tonight and then sneak up on him in the morning!
LightBob: Perfect! But wouldn't your house be a bit too obvious? (they reach SpongeBob's house) A pineapple! Genius!
Patrick: Wait- how do we know if we can trust you!
LightBob: I saved your lives! If that isn't good then I don't know what is!
SpongeBob: He has a good point. But in case this is going to be one of those movies when you become evil again at the last second, Patrick better stay with us too. Y'know, for extra protection.
Patrick: It'll be like a sleepover!
LightBob: (he sighs as we cut to them in the bedroom gathered round in a circle sitting down)
SpongeBob: 'LightBob', I'm just curious. Could we have a little backstory?
LightBob: A backstory? Well, not much happened back in the chest...
SpongeBob and Patrick: Tell us about life in the chest! Tell us! Tell us!
LightBob: OK, OK, but only because that 'speaking-in-unison' thing you just did was quite impressive. (we see the story as he narrates) Me, you and my two brothers originated from four crystals made by a scientist. I can't remember his name but it doesn't matter. Each of us lived in a crystal that was the same colour of our skin. I, of course, lived in the write crystal, DarkBob lived in the black crystal and the one you haven't met yet, let's call him BlueBob, lived in the blue crystal. You, of course, lived in the yellow crystal. We loved communicating in our own little way. One day, a pirate, name doesn't matter, stole us and buried us in a treasure chest on Bikini Atoll. No idea how I know it's called that but it is. Anyway, one day another pirate, name STILL doesn't matter, dug the chest up and released you from the chest. The pirate was so shocked that he fled. BlueBob and DarkBob grew so angry that they were left behind that they swore revenge so when DarkBob and I were released on this very day, I cannot describe how furious he was. I also can't describe how we can suddenly speak English and know what the language is anyway but I guess it's just a 'natural language', like if you let a baby into the wilderness, he or she would just magically start speaking English.
Patrick: You're my brother?
LightBob: No, no. I was talking about SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: But that's impossible! I have a family!
LightBob: I am your family.
SpongeBob: No, I mean I have another family.
LightBob: But you can't have another family! Unless...
SpongeBob: What is it?
LightBob: It's something I would rather not to be true so I would like us to not mention it. Like the Suicide Squad movie, never happened...
Patrick: And the new Spider-Man movie! (silence) Yeah, Marvel really knows how to 'kick in' at its fans...
LightBob: OK... I think we should all get some shut-eye. DarkBob's gonna have to destroy the whole city looking for you!
SpongeBob: Thanks, I'll have nightmares about him kidnapping me in my sleep now...
LightBob: He wouldn't dare. Antagonists like to attack during day so they can hear thir victims scream in pain. (we cut to SpongeBob in his bed with Patrick and LightBob laying in floor with blankets, they fall asleep and we see SpongeBob's dream: Bikini Bottom is under attack and DarkBob is terrorising the town in a robot)
DarkBob: (laughs maniacally as he shoots the Krusty Krab with his robot laser, people passing by flee in pain)
Mr. Krabs: No, you can take the Krusty Krab but not me money!
DarkBob: I don't want your money! We want SpongeBob!
Mr. Krabs: No, not SpongeBob! (he is shot)
SpongeBob: Oh my God! They killed Mr. Krabs!
DarkBob: And now I'm gonna kill (sings) YOU! (he shoots SpongeBob and he awakes from the nightmare)
SpongeBob: (gasps) Phew, it's just a bad dream. Right Patrick? Patrick? Oh, asleep. (laughs as we see the sky change from night to day and SpongeBob is outside collecting his mail) Oh, he Squidward? How's unemployment treating you?
Squidward: Oh, it's fine a guess. (a moving truck pulls in)
SpongeBob: You're moving? And so soon!
Squidward: Well, a lot happens when your excited about your dreams.
SpongeBob: What's the matter? You're usually so excited!
Squidward: The correct word is 'furious'. I got a new job as ANOTHER cashier in Antarctica. Not what I was hoping for but I was turned down as musician before I even applied. (he gets into the moving truck)
SpongeBob: I'll miss you, Squidward.
Squidward: (hesitates for a moment) I'll, uh, miss you too. (the truck drives away as SpongeBob looks depressed and Patrick and LightBob come out of the house)
LightBob: What's the matter?
SpongeBob: Oh, my neighbour Squidward's moved.
Patrick: Hooray! Whoo! go Squidward!
SpongeBob: It's not really a good thing, Patrick.
SpongeBob: So, how are we going to take down DarkBob?
LightBob: There's a small chance BlueBob could be willing to help us but that would mean going to the surface.
SpongeBob: My friend Sandy has special suits we could use!
LightBob: Perfect! Take us to the beach right away!
SpongeBob: Oh, Sandy's just her name. She lives a few houses away.
LightBob: Oh. Let's go there then! (cut to Sandy's treedome)
Sandy: Wow, that was some story. Well, luckily-
LightBob: Why are you wearing a bikini? (silence for a few seconds)
Sandy: Luckily I have plenty of air helmets but I'm gonna have to go with you.
SpongeBob: Please, young child. Patrick and I climbed a mountain today.
Patrick: No professional gear and just for the fun of it.
LightBob: I flew up a mountain today! Well, I guess I flew down but I was still at the top...
Sandy: Intriguing. So you, like, literally fly out of the crystals?
LightBob: Yes! That's what I said earlier! Now, can we just go and find the treasure?
Robbie:(sitting on a picnic table) Treasure? You mean like pirates?
Patrick: Oh, hey, Robbie! This is our new friend LightBob!
Robbie: Answer the question! When I want an answer I REALLY want an answer!
Patrick: Uh... 21?
Sandy: Yes, like pirates.
Patrick: 21 Pirates? That should be a name of a band!
Sandy: You can come with us to get the treasure if you want.
SpongeBob: May I just ask, what is he doing here anyway?
Sandy: Oh, he was lending a hand as a guinea pig for my new experiment.
Robbie: Guinea pig? I thought you said lab rat?
Patrick: I, uh, have no idea what either of those things are.
Robbie: Yes, like pirates.
Patrick: How many?
Sandy: Ugh! I've been holding my breath for ages now. And no Patrick, it's an expression.
Patrick: It's an expresso?
Sandy: DarkBob's powers sound a lot like Bill Cipher's!
LightBob: Who's Bill Cipher?
Sandy: Dream demon, one eye, looks like the illuminati but with clothing, he terrorised the town a few months ago.
LightBob: That does sound like what DarkBob's gonna do. Maybe he could help defeat him too! We should split into two teams!
Robbie: Perfect! Me and Sandy will get the treasure and you three can go to Bill. But Team Rotten will need one more person if we're to succeed... (cut to Temmie's house where they knock on the door which opens by itself and they enter a Temmie rave party where they're dancing to 'Beep Beep Like a Sheep')
Sandy: Uh, why does this feel so awkward? (Temmie approaches them)
Temmie: hoi!!! wait, WHO R U PEOPLE?
Sandy: I'm Sandy, SpongeBob's friend and this is Robbie Rotten.
Temmie: oh yeah
Robbie: We need you to help us on a special quest to find SpongeBob's evil doppelgänger's - who is going to destroy Bikini Bottom - brother who can help us take him down. Are you in? (Temmie bursts into hysterics) What's the matter?
Temmie: u said we're going on a quest! (he continues laughing)
Sandy: Not that kind of quest!
Temmie: we better wash our hands if we're going on a quest! (he stops) OKs, OKs, i'll stop. oh my lord, that was hilarious!
Sandy: So, uh, you in?
Temmie: of course! let tem just- (another Temmie approaches Temmie with some Temmie Flakes) FOOB!!! (he eats the Temmie Flakes whole, including the box) tem, tell da other tems it's time to go now.
Temmie #1: huh? tem can't shut dis down now! it's waited tem outta tem!
Temmie: yeah but dis is my house so get out!
Temmie #2: no way hosay! wait, deez guys not allergic to tem, are they?
Temmie: (imitating Tish Simmonds and yelling) GET OUT ME HOUSE! (the music stops and all the Temmies leave)
Robbie: Wow, he was very rude and inconsiderate.
Temmie: actually tem was a she, they were all shes.
Sandy: Wait, what?
Temmie: TEM'S SAID 2 MUCH!
(we cut to them in the special suits - save Sandy who is in an air-suit - in a flying pirate ship going to the surface, they sing 'You Are A Pirate')
Robbie: Do what you want, 'cause a pirate is free, you are a pirate!
Yar har, fiddle di dee,
Being a pirate is all right with me,
Do what you want 'cause a pirate is free, you are a pirate!
Yo Ho, ahoy and avast,
Being a pirate isn't that bad!
Hang the black flag at the end of the mast!
You are a pirate!
You are a pirate!
Robbie: We've got us a map,
Temmie: a map!
Robbie: To lead us to a hidden box,
That's all locked up with locks!
Temmie: with locks!
Robbie: And buried deep away!
We'll dig up the box,
Temmie: the box!
Robbie: We know it's full of precious booty! (briefly twerks)
Burst open the locks!
And then we'll say hooray!
Sandy: Yar har, fiddle di dee,
If you love to sail the sea,
You are a pirate! (song ends) Y'know, Mr. Krabs would love to come on a trip like this. (we cut to Mr. Krabs at home watching old movie)
Lady: (from TV) But Harold, it is Richard who I want to marry!
Harold: (from TV) But what about the diamond ring I gave you?
Lady: (from TV) It wasn't a diamond ring, (a tear drops) it was plastic! (starts cring) A PLASTIC RING!
Mr. Krabs: Woah, did not see that coming!
Harold: (from TV) But my lord, I have something else for you.
Lady: (from TV) What is it? (Harold pulls out his tablet and begins playing the Never Gonna Give You Up music video as Travis is seen falling through the window waving his arms up in the air, we can somewhat hear him say 'Oh look, a script!, before cutting back to the pirate ship)
Robbie: Something tells me, he's OK. (the pirate ship reaches Bikini Atoll and the trio move out)
Sandy: Here we are, Bikini Atoll. (they find out that they're tiny compared to everything else)
Temmie: woah, it seems much bigger in photographs!
Sandy: We have no time for cheesy jokes! We must find the treasure chest!
Robbie: Found it! (he points to the treasure chest) But it seems ages away! How are we going to get there?
Temie: we do it temmie style! (we see them walking towards it with various songs playing after one another in the background)
But I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more...
Ah, ah, ah, ah, Stayin' Alive, Stayin' Alive...
Mr. Boombastic, ???, fantastic...
Wake me up, before you go-go, don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo...
Have you ever met my friend Fatrick Star? He's the biggest- (they reach the treasure chest)
Sandy: Here we are!
Robbie: So, uh, how do we release him again?
Sandy: Maybe if I could get close enough... (she climbs in the treasure chest and touches the blue crystal, causing a blue stream to fly into the ocean before the crystal disappears and Sandy is launched out of the treasure chest) He's getting away! To the pirate ship! (they run towards the pirate ship)
Temmie: wait, we could've just ran over here?
SBCA: (for some reason still on the island) Hey, they're making off with our treasure! How are we supposed to get it now?
Cosmobo: Well, considering we waited all this time before getting it and the fact that they don't actualy have it their grip, there is no possible way.
SBCA: Maluwag ang tornilyo mo! (Sandy steers the ship into the ocean and they follow the stream onto the same mountain from Jellyfish Fields where the ship crashes and breaks) uh-oh. (BlueBob forms from the blue stream)
Robbie: It's BlueBob!
BlueBob: Finally! Freedom! Now, where have my fellow siblings gone? (he stares at the trio) Ah ha! There they are! You look different than you did back in the hood but it doesn't matter.
Sandy: Someone isn't good at math...
BlueBob: We need to build a wall! (he uses his powers to form a wall around the top of the mountain, trapping them all|) Here's BlueBob! (he is about to shoot them until the Batwing lands destroying the wall, the door opens)
Batman: Relax everyone, I'm here.
Temmie: batman? u came back?
Robbie: You know this guy?
Sandy: Why wouldn't we? We three used to be superheroes a few years ago when we lived in Temopolis. I was also the mayor.
Temmie: a i was da prince!
Robbie: The fresh prince of Temopolis? (cut to Temmie wearing sunglasses singing)
now dis is da story all about how
tem's life got flipped-turned upside down
tem likes to take a minute
just sit white dare
tem tell how tem became da prince of tem- (interrupted)
Sandy: Oops, shouldn't have said that. Sorry Batman, the secrets out.
Batman: That's OK, nobody really remembers you two bozos anyway. (we cut to a massive party in Temopolis celebrating Temmie and Sandy being gone before very quickly cutting back) Anyway, you three better all get in. We need to get back to the Batcave ASAP.
Sandy: (whispering) That's his secret lair...
BlueBob: You guys do realise I can still kill you ALL right here, right now.
Batman: Smoke grenade! (he tosses a smoke grenade on the floor briefly blinding BlueBob as the trio jump in the Batwing and they fly away)
BlueBob: Wow, I have never been so embarrassed in my whole life! My one chance comes to destroy my siblings and they just fly away! Unbelievable! (sighs) Maybe you just haven't got it in you. Well, better chase after them. (he attempts at following them as we cut to SpongeBob, Patrick and LightBob knocking on the door of Bill Cipher's house when a maid answers)
Maid: Sir, there's two slices of cheese here, both mild, and a (censored).
Bill: (offscreen) Tell them I'm out for lunch!
Maid: Yes, your majesty. I'm terribly sorry but Master Bill is out for lunch.
SpongeBob: But we just- I mean he just- We just-
LightBob: Step aside, sissy. Let me handle this. (she performs a 'sexy dance around the maid')
Sexy... Everything about you's so sexy... (the maid faints and the trio go inside)
Patrick: Wow, nice place he's got here!
SpongeBob: Uh, LightBob.
SpongeBob: About the- you know what, forget it.
LightBob: OK... (they look around)
SpongeBob: Wow, this is really a nice place.
Patrick: (looking at a list) Huh, what's this?
LightBob: It looks like a to-do-list.
Patrick: (reading) Dominate the Illuminati, dominate ISIS, dominate the world- (stops) Hey, this one's crossed out!
SpongeBob: (reading) Dominate Gravity Falls? (stops) What's that supposed to be?
Patrick: Probably an exhibit at the National Air and Space Musuem.
SpongeBob: I've been meaning to go there, what's it like?
Patrick: There's nothing there.
LightBob: Hey look! It's a statue of a naked human!
Patrick: Is it a boy or a girl?
LightBob: I've gathered a bit of information about humans throughout the years and there's this thing they have called 'transgender-ism' like we have so it's really hard.
SpongeBob: Do any of you two know what this plaque reads? It says something like 'All Hail' but I can't make out the last word.
LightBob: (reading) Allahu Akbar? Wow, racist!
SpongeBob: Well, not as racist as THIS plaque. (she reads it)
LightBob: What the hell is a covfeve?
Patrick: Oh, it's that right balloon thing you put around your-
SpongeBob: PATRICK! THIS IS A KIDS MOVIE!
Patrick: Oh, sorry!
SpongeBob: You better be. (they reach a door labeled 'Throne Room')
Patrick: A throne room? Well, I would like to do some throwing... (he opens the door and they see Bill sitting on a throne, he quickly shuts off the TV)
Bill: Who dares disturb the great and powerful Bill Cipher?
Patrick: We do!
SpongeBob: (coughs) We've come to seek your help.
Patrick: (smirks) You said- (SpongeBob covers his mouth)
Bill: ME? Help YOU? You're having a laugh, I can tell. Patrick gives it away.
SpongeBob: No, we're serious! My evil doppelgänger is going to destroy Bikini Bottom and we need your help in defeating him.
Bill: And what makes you think I will help you?
LightBob: Because you're, uh, you can do, uh, what his dopple-hanger thingy can and, uh, you're, uh, the... illuminati?
Bill: (furious) WHAT? YOU THINK I'M THE ILLUMINATI? WELL, HA HA, APRIL FOOLS! GET OUT BEFORE I ANNHILATE THE THREE OF YOU!
Bill: GET OUT! I NEVER WANT TO SEE ANY OF YOUR FACES EVER AGAIN!
SpongeBob: But, Mr. Cipher-
Bill: WHAT? I THOUGHT I MADE MYSELF CLEAR!
SpongeBob: Bill! Just listen to me, just for a second... (takes a breather) If DarkBob succeeds in taking over Bikini Bottom then that means you won't be able too! (Bill thinks about it) Yes, think a little more... Just a little... The tinciest of winciest bit more... Yes, yes...
Bill: Yes, that is true. (thinks a bit longer) Alright, I'll help you but only enough so Bikini Bottom isn't convinced that I've turned over a new leaf.
LightBob: Wait a second, the town's called Bikini Bottom? BIKINI BOTTOM? (she bursts into hysterics)
Patrick: (sighs) Yeah, we get that a lot.
SpongeBob: It's only called that because we're at the bottom of Bikini Atoll. Bikini Bottom!
LightBob: (stops laughing) Oh. That's... actually quite clever.
Patrick: What were you watching on the TV anyway?
Bill: Me? Oh, nothing...
Patrick: (he turns on the TV and they see the famous scene from 'Your Shoes Untied' that SpongeBob watches at the beginning of the episode, SpongeBob and LightBob are not amused) Hehe...
SpongeBob: Wow. How... charming.
Bill: So, who are we working with? (we cut to the Batcave where the Batwing lands, the people inside exit)
Batman: Here we are, the Batcave. Temopolis' best crib, you wanna know why?
Temmie and Sandy: Don't say it!
Batman: Because I'm Batman! Now follow me! (they walk over to the bat-computer where they find Alfred, Batman's butler) I'd like you peasants to meet another one of your kind.
Temmie: y thank u!
Batman: This is Alfred, my butler.
Alfred: Why thank you, sir. it's been a long time since I've been given a proper intro-
Batman: Yeah, yeah. That's 'splendid' as you chaps might say back in England. The toilet is clogged again, the dishes need washing, the bat-mirror needs shining, my phone needs charging, Club Penguin has shut down, the toilet is clogged and you need to fetch my Dick. (Temmie bursts into hysterics and Batman sighs) He's the name of my son, OK? And I'm not a cruel parent either! (turns to audience) Not that Dick isn't a bad name for anyone with that name watching this right now. (Temmie stops laughing and Batman resumes his normal position) Look, it's an adoptive thing. (he turns around at Alfred) Didn't I tell you to scram already?
Alfred: Actually, sir-
Batman: Well, scram then! (Alfred walks off and Batman boots up his bat-computer) I'd like you to meet my bat-computer, or as I like to call her, Barbara. I've recently got into online dating and I've met this girl with a heathenly body.
Robbie: Well, if you ever get bored tell her there's a lot more 'meat' to go around. Mmm mmm?
Temmie: u disgust tem!
Batman: I certainly won't be telling her that. Also, you're leaning on my keyboard. (Robbie stops doing the former as Batman loads up Twitter) This morning the Joker, (turns to Temmie) MY arch-nemesis-
Temmie: o, please dont start dis one again!
Batman: Anyway, HE tagged ME, not YOU, in a tweet that reads 'going to destroy the four of you hahahahahahaha'. He's obviously referring to Me, Temmie, Sandy and Squidward.
Robbie: WHAT? But I'M the master of disguise!
Batman: Well, we could use a lot more backup as NOT ONLY are we dead meat but BlueBob and DarkBob plan on destroying Bikini Bottom and eachother tomorrow so we better get moving.
Sandy: How did you- (Alfred returns with Robin)
Batman: Ah. Here he is. This is my loyal sidekick Robin.
Robin: Hi, I'm Robin! (rusn around in circles) I'm like a bird! (he jumps on the computer) I can fly! Whoa! (he falls off)
Batman: Perhaps he still needs training...
Robin: No, Batman! Please! I'll do anything! ANYTHING! (Batman chuckles)
Robbie: I thought his names was Dick...
Batman: Yes, but for the time being we shall call him Robin. (he looks at Alfred) Don't you have a job to do?
Alfred: Yes sir, but if I needed I job done I would get someone WITH A JOB so THEY CAN DO THAT JOB!
Batman: Alfred, go to the corner.
Alfred: Yes sir. (he leaves)
Temmie: OKs, dat is nice a all but we really need to go save the world.
Batman: Perfect! You can warm the bad guys up and me and Robin can sneak up on them!
Robin: Woohoo! A family mission!
Batman: You lot can take the secret elevator which is so secret I'm not even going to tell where it-
Robin: Down the hall, to the left, go straight, take another left, follow the yellow brick road, right, left, right, left, right, left, right and it should be back where you started. (he smiles)
Batman: You're lucky I'm not wearing my belt. (we cut back to the Temmie Rave Party)
Temmie #1: dis wus da gweat idear 2 cum back inside!
Temmie #2: yaYA!!!
Jeffy: (performing his hit single)
(Jeffy!) Why? Why?
(Jeffy, don't do that!) Why? Why?
(Jeffy, eat your green beans!) Why? Why?
(Jeffy, don't poop your pants!) Why? Why?
Cat Piano solo! (as this is happening BlueBob has somehow made his way into the party and, disguised as a Temmie, drinks some punch)
(Jeffy, stop it!)
Got my helmet on top of my head
Spanked my peepee until it was red!
Eat green beans? I'd rather be dead!
It's 10 o'clock and I'm ready for bed!
Hey daddy, I just showed you how to poop on the track,
so, uh, I'm going to bed.
I got my carrots on, got my bunny suit on, I'm ready for bed
My name is J-Fee and that was my hit single 'Why'! (the Temmies cheer) Five stars, Jeffy approval. (spanks his diaper) Uh! Remember: do not eat your green beans and give a big round of applause for our next performer, the Epic Sax Guy. (the Temmies cheer as Jeffy leaves the stage and the Epic Sax Guy enters and we see a few seconds of his performance)
Temmie #1: isn't he romantic? (we cut DarkBob on the outskirts of Bikini Bottom creating a secret hideout using his powers accompanied by an original song)
I'm bad, and that's good. It's not good that I'm bad. I was born this, that way I'll stay. At least I'm better than your Dad. (what?) So what's up dudes and dude-ettes? I'm taking over the city? I'm placing basic-all-y all my bets, (huh) you know it's not- Aha, toilet humour, that's how we roll. The gang will fall for it, fall into my trap.. My victims are mind-controlled, by my mind. SpongeBob, Patrick. They owe me their lives. So let me be the first to tell you my evil plan. Make Bikini love me, give me the fame. then at the last second turn on them all! Ha ha! I'm bad, and that's good. It's not good that I'm bad. I was born this, that way I'll stay. Dealing weed in the mansion, just like Bruce Wayne (alright). (BlueBob finds him)
BlueBob: Hey look, it's pinhead. It's not nice to leave me waiting twice, y'know.
DarkBob: Twice? Oh, you must be mistaken. I left you when we were back in the hood, bro.
BlueBob: AND you left me on the mountain.
DarkBob: You weren't on the mountain, it was just me and 'LightBob'.
BlueBob: Who's LightBob supposed to be?
DarkBob: Oh, we have names now. I'm DarkBob, the white one that's now good is LightBob and you're BlueBob.
BlueBob: Wow, I have never had a name before, even though I couldnt name myself. It feels so good to be called something other than 'the one that looks like the rest of us except is blue'. I was starting to think you were being racist by calling be that but, now that you've shortened it, it seems so kind and friend- (he realises DarkBob is staring at him awkwardly) I need more screen time, mkay?
DarkBob: Ugh, it was sarcastic when I said it.
BlueBob: No, I'm serious. So now I know it wasn't you who I saw, why don't we team up to get revenge on LightBob and YellowBob?
DarkBob: His name is SpongeBob. (he stops building the lair and turns around) It really is you! Now, listen closely. Tomorrow we will destroy Bikini Bottom. Not all of it but just enough so we can get our squishy hands on them both. Then, we kill them!
BlueBob: Oh, diabolical!
DarkBob: Oh, it certainly is. And as a team, we'll be unstopabble! (he does an evil laugh) Evil laugh with me. (they both do an evil laugh and the camera zooms out to reveal SpongeBob, Patrick and LightBob are watching it at the pineapple through Bill Cipher's eye)
Bill: Is it evil? Is it more evil than me?
LightBob: Uh, it's quite evil.
SpongeBob: Uh huh.
Patrick: But I don't want him to bill us! The bill will probably be over 9000!
SpongeBob: Patrick, he's gonna kill us not bill us!
Bill: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MINDS? THEM KILLING US IS EVEN WORSE THAN THEM BILLING US! (sigh) Good thing you have me for protection. If he's going to strike tomorrow we better get some beauty sleep.
Patrick: But I don't wanna watch Beauty and the Beast!
LightBob: He said beauty sleep! Now, lights out! (she turns the lights off but she is so bright she illuminates the room) Sorry. (the night's sky quickly turns to that of the day as we see Squidward still in his moving van)
Squidward: I honestly fail to believe that we have been driving for a whole day! Do you wanna send us to Mexico?
Driver: No, we're going to Antarctica.
Squidward: (annoyed) Ugh, I absolutely hate it when people correct me. Wait- I need the toilet.
Driver: Go in the trunk.
Squidward: I'm not wearing any pants! (the van stops for a pedestrian)
Driver: You go first.
Joker: No, let's both go at the same time. (he laughs maniaclly as Squidward steps out of the van)
Squidward: You again?
Joker: Yes, me again. I decided to go back to evil with my first mission being destroying any obstacle in my way. And after my holiday in the antarctic, you are the closest.
Squidward: Maybe I am but YOU'RE the closest thing in MY way! (he pulls out his clarinet-gun and a fight ensues until Batman randomly appears and freezes The Joker)
Batman: Mr. Freeze!
Squidward: Batman? But how did-
Batman: Because I'm Batman! Now, there's no time to explain, we must get back to Bikini Bottom (they both randomly disappear)
Driver: So, uh, what do I do with all this stuff? (cut back to the rave party, BlueBob visits Jeffy backstage)
BlueBob: Tell me where SpongeBob is or I'll kill you.
Jeffy: ARE YOU (censored) HIGH?
Jeffy: Who the (censored) is SpongeBob?
BlueBob: Y'know, he looks like me but yellow.
Jeffy: Oh, you mean the zombie. He's in that rotten pineapple right now.
BlueBob: Thanks. (takes out his phone) Since when did I have one of these? (calls DarkBob) Ooh, baby, we've got it. (we cut back to the Pineapple where the four are sleeping, Bill yawns causing his eye to shoot a beam that turns on the TV)
Donald Trump: (on TV) Zombie apocalypse has come early this year with a chocolate bar and a chocolate blueberry bar sent from China destroying buildings and tourist attractions all around Bikini Bottom. We advise all citizens to stay calm, even those elsewhere in the Ununited Kingdom, but to also evacuate the area to the town hall in Mexico City, which isn't far from here, where we have set up a camp using a small loan of a million dollars. That is what's on my cue card but actually I think we should all RUN FOR OUR LIVES! (runs around in a circle screaming)
Perch Perkins: (on TV) Thank you for those kind words, Mr. President. In other news The Snails American Football team remain undefeated winning 666- (TV cuts to static and Bill wakes up despite listening to it all)
Bill: Guys, wake up! Today's the day! Any second now they could- (the pineapple is destroyed by DarkBob and the four fall to the ground and they wake up)
DarkBob: Oh, there you are. I was worried you had already fled to Mexico City.
LightBob: We're not scared of you!
BlueBob: Oh, my fellow spongy creature. It's so good to see you all here! It's like a reunion! We have the whole family here!
DarkBob: Oh, we certainly (he pushes BlueBob into where the pineapple was, therefore joining the four) DO!
BlueBob: Ouch! What was that for?
DarkBob: I'm destroying you with them! (laughs)
SpongeBob: But he didn't do anything to you! We didn't do anything to you!
DarkBob: Sorry, bro. You left me all these years stranded on that Island! LightBob is a traitor and BlueBob wanted to kill ME for doing what I'm gonna do to you ALL!
BlueBob: Luckily I have pow- (DarkBob zaps him and his powers go) Welp. It's like that time with the tiger all over again.
Bill: Who says I don't have pow- (the same happens to him) Screw it.
SpongeBob: We're quite screwed.
Patrick: I'm too fat to die!
LightBob: We are not going to die! And that's because- (Batman suddenly appears and floors DarkBob)
Batman: I'm Batman!
SpongeBob: Batman! (Robin chases after him)
Robin: Huh, Batdad! You're really fast!
Batman: That's because I'm Batman!
DarkBob: Not any- (he gets ran over by the Justice League running past not seeing him)
Robin: Guys! He's over here! (he follows them)
Batman: I thought Cyborg was a titan... (he follows)
DarkBob: I apologise for that commercial break. Now, (gets up) where were we?
Sandy: (running towards them with Temmie and Robbie) Kicking your ass!
SpongeBob: Guys! I was starting to wonder where you went!
Robbie: We went to infinity and beyond.
Temmie: it's temmie time! (DarkBob shoots Sandy and Robbie down and attempts to shoot SpongeBob and LightBob but they dodge every attempt)
LightBob: And now for the big- (DarkBob shoots her and she faints)
BlueBob: LIGHTBOB! NO! I'm so sorry...
Patrick: Is she OK?
BlueBob: OF COURSE SHE'S NOT OK!
Bill: Oh man. (LightBob gets up and shoots DarkBob)
LightBob: Haha! Made you blink!
SpongeBob: Game over, DarkBob. I'll have you know I'm a master of karate. (an epic fight ensues between the two resulting in DarkBob being blown away by a car) Ha! That's the last we'll see of- (DarkBob suddenly returns and punches SpongeBob)
DarkBob: DarkBob! Oh yeah! Coming again to kick SpongeBob's-
Temmie: look! over there!
DarkBob: (looks behind him) Where? (turns back around)
Temmie: haha! tricked u! tem made blackbob look! (SpongeBob and LightBob run towards DarkBob and throw some punches)
DarkBob: Maybe you did but (sings) I'm still standing better than I ever did...
Temmie: maybe u r but we're taking u down!
DarkBob: (laughs) You and what army? (Temmie whistles and his relatives come)
Temmie #1: hOI!!! i'm temmie a dis my friend temmie!
Temmie #2: hOI!!! i'm temmie a dis my friend temmie!
Temmie #3: hOI!!! i'm temmie a don't forget my friend!
Bob the Temmie: Hi, I'm Bob.
Temmie #4: temmie always want temmie but temmie have t2 save for colleg!
Temmie #5: temmie watch egg! temmie proud parent!
Temmie with Allergies: humans so cute but humans r allergic to tem! temmie don't blame dem 'cos tem allergic 2 tem 2!
DarkBob: Ha! How are they going to- (a bunch of characters from memes such as Nyan Cat, the duck, Nebby and Hatsune Miku appear and begin to chase after DarkBob) Uh-oh.
SpongeBob: It's the memes! Nothing's stronger than memes! (they follow the memes)
Nyan Cat: Meow!
Temmie: OMG!! nyan cat TOO CUTE!
Hatsune Miku: みましょうネギは、いくつかのお尻をスピン!
Snoop Dogg: Damn son!
Goku: IT'S OVER 9000! (the memes circle DarkBob)
DarkBob: Easy now, I'm sure we can all come to a reasonable conclusion to this...
Temmie: dis is a reasonable conclusion!
SpongeBob and Patrick: OH! OH! OH!
King Tem: Guards, seize him! (the temmies approach him and, with the memes, attack DarkBob so much that LightBob, BlueBob and Bill's powers come back)
Bill: Hey! I have my powers back!
BlueBob: Me too!
LightBob: Let's finish him!
Patrick: As a team!
SpongeBob: Guys, we can stop talking like this now.
Temmie: awwAwa cute!! (pets Nyan Cat)
Robbie: (running towards them with Sandy) It's time to find out who's really number one!
SpongeBob: It's certainly not you! You're going to Hell, brothers!
BlueBob: Me? Oh, no. I'm on your side now! (he is pushed into the middle of the circle)
DarkBob: Well, this is the end. (he creates a large office-like building and runs in it) See ya, suckers!
LightBob: (he tries to destroy the building but it's too strong) My powers are too weak! Bill, help me! (he approach her and attemp to destroy while Temmie runs inside)
Robbie: Temmie! What the helium do you think you're doing?
SpongeBob: Memes, after them!
Jeffy: OK, daddy. (Jeffy, Gandalf and the 'I Like Turtles' kid chase after him into the building, they follow him into a lift and, after a quick 'Gangnam Style' gag, they reach the roof where DarkBob is about to kill himself)
Gandalf: Is he really going to jump off?
'I Like Turtles' Kid: I like turtles.
Gandalf: Oh, baby a triple.
Temmie: ur time is up, vader!
DarkBob: Vader? Is this like Star Wars? Well, in this case then, I am your fa- whoa! (he falls and is caught by Nyan Cat who is surrounded by the other memes, he drops him and BlueBob is pushed back in the circle too)
BlueBob: (censored) her right in the (censored)!
Temmie: works every time...
DarkBob: Welp, this is the end.
BlueBob: It certainly is. (LightBob blasts SpongeBob, giving him powers and together they blast DarkBob and BlueBob making them disappear but resulting in their powers fading)
SpongeBob: We did it! We really did it!
Patrick: Lo hicimos!
Robbie: So, uh, what happens now?
Temmie: victory dance! (he and the other temmies, teletubbies and Pig Family perform a victory dance)
I'm sexy and I know it....
Sandy: Whoa, whoa. Seriously, what do we do now?
Bill: Imma leave that up to you guys. See y'all around, bye! (he leaves)
Temmie: have a nice life! tem c u at colleg!
Robbie: Hey, where'd Batman go? (Batman and Robin come running towards them)
Robin: Can't believe we just ditched the Justice League!
Batman: Serves them right really. What'd I miss?
LightBob: A lot, Let's just say we don't require your services any longer.
Batman: Shoot. Come on Robin, let's scoot.
Robin: Sure thing, Batdad! (the two leave as Squidward returns)
SpongeBob: Squidward! I thought you moved!
Squidward: I did but duty called.
Temmie: great work, soldier.
SpongeBob: What? I don't get- Oh, superheroes.
Squidward: I guess I'm staying here now. (they cheer)
Temmie: how is squidward returning a good thing?
Patrick: Sorry, Squid, but your job's kinda taken.
Temmie: R U JUST GON-
Sandy: I don't mind. (Squidward grunts)
Robbie: I think this calls for a celebration!
Patrick: Oh boy! I love chocolate!
Temmie: were u even paying attention earlier? (they leave)
Hatsune Miku: ねえ、クソ彼らは私たちを忘れてしまった!
Mudkip: 言語の選択、以外、私は全く同意する! (we cut to the Krusty Krab where SpongeBob and Squidward are working there once again accompanied by music)
Hey, yeah (we the best)
All I do is win win win no matter what
Got money on my mind I can never get enough
And every time I step up in the buildin'
Everybody hands go up (the customers put their hands up)
And they stay there
And they say yeah
And they stay there
Up down, up down, up down (the customers' hands go up, down, up, down, up, down)
'Cause all I do is win win win
And if you goin' in put your hands in the air
Make 'em stay there (SpongeBob delivers a krabby patty to LightBob, Patrick, Temmie and Kenny's table)
LightBob: So, Bob? What were you going to say earlier?
LightBob: About my dance?
SpongeBob: Well, uh, uh- (she kisses him which makes him faint)
Kenny: (muffled) Damn son!
Patrick: I thought they were related.
Temmie: tem figures the yellow crystal guy is sponge's great great great grandfather!
Patrick: Oh, so she just kissed someone way younger than her?
LightBob: We only age the thirty odd years in the crystals.
Patrick: But you're still related! How the hell does that even work?
LightBob: Who's to say we're not different species?
Sandy: (approaching them) Exactly!
Temmie: hey! who gave u permission to butt in!
Kenny: (raises hand and speaks 'muffly') I did!
Sandy: Who says they're necessarilly related? They could just be different species. Besides, the creature who originated from the yellow crystal could be SpongeBob's what's-it-to-ya from a long time ago and the rest of the sponges in Bikini Bottom were made when he/she 'did it' with a proper sea sponge! They're not related, they just share similar jeans.
Patrick: But that makes no sense! You mean to tell me they're not related but ARE at the same time? Plus, they're not wearing jeans! (looks at Kenny) Hey! Shouldn't you be dead by now? (he falls on the floor as SpongeBob gets up)
SpongeBob: Oh my God! They killed Kenny!
Temmie: u (censored)
LightBob: All's well that ends well!
Temmie: hey, where's timmy been for the entirety of dis movie?
(they laugh as the camera zooms out as we see Bill looking at it)
Bill: Some say what happened this day was a good thing, others bad. I personally say bad! My reputation was ruined and did you see that ending? Gosh! I can only imagine what the critics are thinking! Anyway, all good films need an happy ending so as love as I would rather kill everyone! There's one last scene you must see! (we look back into the Krusty Krab as Mr. Krabs gives Squidward a gift)
Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward! I bought you a little something! Y'know, for coming back. (he hands Squidward a cardboard box)
Squidward: At least you haven't changed. (he opens it) My work hat? (he puts it on) Oh, Eugene, you really shouldn't have. (they laugh as the screen fades to black but not completely before the last words) No, I'm dead serious. (with a now black screen Bill gives the closing lines)
Bill: (offscreen) The end. (pause) In a world. There, I said it. (a fun visually pleasing credits listing the voice actors, director, writers and what it's based on begin set to asdf Movie's 'Beep Beep I'm a Sheep' before the plain ones start listing the other people who worked on the film set to SML Movie's 'Why', 'You Reposted In The Wrong Neighbourhood' and then a dedication to Gabe the Dog, Harambe, The Terrible Travis (who 'sadly passed away' during production) and joke asking why Cosmobo isn't mentioned, a post-credit scene begins afterwards)
Driver: So, uh, what happens now?
Joker: (still frozen) No idea.
Driver: So, did you like the movie?
Joker: Look at me and tell me I liked the movie.
Driver: Where's the audience?
Joker: I dunno, nobody really expects post-credit scenes in movies anymore, there's nothing worth- (Stan Lee walks by) there's the Stan Lee cameo. (pause) Who's hyped for the sequel?
Driver: A SEQUEL? WHAT THE F- (film ends)